Friday, August 19, 2011
Why the Argument Against Used Games is Stupid
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Marvel: Ultimate Alliance
How long is a game fun for? It depends on the game, I guess. Some games, like Super Mario World or Grand Theft Auto 3 are pretty much fun forever. Other games aren't fun at all. And some games are super fun for like a week and then goddamn you never wanna play em again.
Such is Marvel: Ultimate Alliance.
This game, as with almost all games, pits you as some superpowered fascists leading a crusade against other superpowered fascists. It's a battle of ideologies, sort of, but I'm never quite sure what side is quite the right one to root for. Both sides are unwaveringly committed to their ideas of justice but why should we find the US government backed protagonists more sympathetic than Dr. Doom's ragtag group of freedom fighters? We are forced into the role of accepting the heroes qua heroes and there's no time to waste: an explosion is happening aboard the SHIELD helicarrier, triggering easy parallels to 9/11 and the thoughtless but fierce determinism that followed.
The gameplay is engaging enough, at least at first. It takes a 3/4 view of the action as you control a squadron of four swappable characters. Each character has unique powers and periodically charming battlecries ("I feel as mighty as Odin!" "I'm the best there is at what I do!"). There is also no shortage of playable characters. My current team consists of such D-listers as Miss Marvel and Luke Cage, chosen out of a persistent white liberal guilt that haunted me with a more conventional team. You run around smacking around foot soldiers and breaking barrels until you reach the end villain who taunts you before you destroy him, usually so quickly you have no idea what happened. The combat is fun for a while, with a varied array of special attacks, grapples, and weapons to utilize. There are upgrades and costume changes, all the usual trappings of the RPG genre.
Ultimately (haha), the game is too easy and too lacking in personality. Despite the wide array of characters you will encounter (most recently, I had a runin with Corsair of all people), it eventually blurs together into a forgettable, interminable grind. But when the novelty is fresh, it's exhilarating.
The game can be obtained cheaply, as it is several years old, and is worth it for the week or so of fun it will provide. I guess.
Such is Marvel: Ultimate Alliance.
This game, as with almost all games, pits you as some superpowered fascists leading a crusade against other superpowered fascists. It's a battle of ideologies, sort of, but I'm never quite sure what side is quite the right one to root for. Both sides are unwaveringly committed to their ideas of justice but why should we find the US government backed protagonists more sympathetic than Dr. Doom's ragtag group of freedom fighters? We are forced into the role of accepting the heroes qua heroes and there's no time to waste: an explosion is happening aboard the SHIELD helicarrier, triggering easy parallels to 9/11 and the thoughtless but fierce determinism that followed.
The gameplay is engaging enough, at least at first. It takes a 3/4 view of the action as you control a squadron of four swappable characters. Each character has unique powers and periodically charming battlecries ("I feel as mighty as Odin!" "I'm the best there is at what I do!"). There is also no shortage of playable characters. My current team consists of such D-listers as Miss Marvel and Luke Cage, chosen out of a persistent white liberal guilt that haunted me with a more conventional team. You run around smacking around foot soldiers and breaking barrels until you reach the end villain who taunts you before you destroy him, usually so quickly you have no idea what happened. The combat is fun for a while, with a varied array of special attacks, grapples, and weapons to utilize. There are upgrades and costume changes, all the usual trappings of the RPG genre.
Ultimately (haha), the game is too easy and too lacking in personality. Despite the wide array of characters you will encounter (most recently, I had a runin with Corsair of all people), it eventually blurs together into a forgettable, interminable grind. But when the novelty is fresh, it's exhilarating.
The game can be obtained cheaply, as it is several years old, and is worth it for the week or so of fun it will provide. I guess.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
The FPS Lifestyle
You see, 99% of people who play FPS games have never touched a real fire arm. We view ourselves as being "above the fray", and would never sully ourselves by discharging an actual gun. You see, in real life (or IRL, as it is more commonly referred to) there are no respawn points. IRL, when you shoot someone there are real consequences. More importantly, to shoot someone IRL would require us to interact with other human beings, which is an idea so preposterous that I feel dirty even mentioning it. Sunlight? No thanks. Exercise? Bah! Human contact? I get all the verbal interaction I need through my trusty headset, which allows me to talk to my teammates and also to taunt my victims. The FPS'er has transcended the life of a typical human and has become something else. Something better. We no longer conform to traditional laws of online video game playing. We have created our own language, rife with terms like "n00b" and "pwned". We upload videos of our finest kills to YouTube and boast about our skills at virtual-murder. The FPS'er has changed online gaming in ways no other genre could have ever dreamed of. And for this valiant service, we receive no thanks from the rest of the gaming universe. Instead, we are mocked and scorned. Little do those who look down on us know, FPS'ers hold all the cards in the gaming industry. You want that shitty indy game that you love so much to see the light of day? You better hope the annual release of Call of Duty sells a billion copies to fill the coffers of the developers to the point where they can feel safe throwing away money on whatever pseudo-intellectual pile of pixels with an unlikely hero and OUTSIDE THE BOX gameplay mechanic that is all the rage these days. You want to see more downloadable content for whatever obscure MMORPG you play? You better hope us FPS'ers keep supporting the entire DLC market by buying map packs. Checkmate, losers.
The FPS Lifestyle is here to stay. Get used to it.
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